Sunshine and rainy days

I have to say that I feel a little bit happier now than I have of late. I don't know if it's just because the sun has started to shine and Spring is in the air, or if the clouds have started to lift over my recent doom and gloom of the heart. Perhaps it's both. I feel a little more in control which helps. My emotions are in check for the moment. This could change with the wind of course, but right now, this minute, i'm fine.

Yesterday I was told I treated the whole dating thing quite light heartedly. She then back-tracked and said she didn't mean it to sound like she thought I didn't care, just that I was quite calm about the whole process. She's also started dating again and she's not exactly embracing the experience! I was glad to hear that's what she thought of me, and my approach to the whole dating scenario. Even if deep down it's not really the case! To be perceived that way is what i want. And people do say the more you act a certain way the more like that way you become. If that makes sense...?

The past couple of months (i think it's three now)have been a challenge. And a mind fuck. But with the help of my friends, who did physically have to scrape me off the floor at one point, I've managed to get my life back and have started to kick the habit, the Ex. I know I've got a long way to go, but I'm doing OK. I've been on a few dates and have realised that I'm an interesting, easy to talk to kinda gal. Sorry if that sounds like I'm blowing my own trumpet (and for those reading this who know me, you'll probably be cheering and clapping your hands at me praising myself!)but I've been made to feel like I'm neither of those things at some point.

So, onwards and upwards. I'm moving on, getting on and attempting to get back in the saddle, as terrifying as that is. It's probably a little bit soon, but I'm not starting any big, scary relationships right now. Just meeting new people and trying to remember what fun feels like. Bring on the singles nights, speed dating and blind dates! Woohoo!