My knuckles have been rapped by the boyfriend as i haven't blogged since April. This is always the way with me, i find i have more time and inclination to write when something's going wrong or i'm bored rather than when i'm happy and busy. The same happens when i try and keep diaries and journals. If anyone read them they would seriously think i was a depressed, suicidal loon - and i want to keep that a secret!
My best friend got married last month. It was a truly amazing day, one which i will never forget and i'm so happy that Hannah chose me to be part of it. It was very special. Unfortunatley i'm such a wet blanket that i cried at every available opportunity. But that's not news, that's just me and i've realised that me being a soppy cow is just part of my personality. I used to be made to feel stupid for my tears, told to suck it up or "here come the waterworks", the thing is when i'm emotional (and that's sad, happy, overwhelmed, angry) i express it through tears. I guess i can safely say that i'm not dead inside and that i'm very in touch with my feelings.
Something i have realised though, is eveytime i've cried recently (in the last six months let's say)it has been through happiness. I mean yes, i probably was a bit sad at saying goodbye to my parents and pets when they moved from the village i grew up in, to live in Portugal permanently. It's hard saying goodbye to a life that no longer exists. And it's hard knowing that they aren't where they always were. I guess in a way it feels as though my safety net has gone. But more than that, i'm so, so proud of my parents. They're so brave and i think they're a bit of an inspiration. They've made their dreams come true and they've worked damn hard to get where they are now. It's hard for them too, and i know not a day goes by without them thinking about their daughters and hoping we're safe.
And i am. Safe i mean. As far as i can be. So the tears are ones of joy really, and admiration.
I feel pretty settled at the moment. That could be down to the fact that i've had the same job for almost six months (and the same man) and i've signed up to another six months in Stokey. Or maybe i finally feel at home in London. Or perhaps now i've realised that London is my home. It's a nice feeling, but things are going to change. They have to. It's just the way the world works, and i'm not scared by that. On the contrary, i'm excited by it. Especially if it means moving in with the new man ;-)
I've got sooo much to look forward to this summer and most of it is down to him. I can't believe how lucky i am, to have snared a sexy South African dude who brings out only the best in me, who my friends and family love and who loves me. That's right, NEWSFLASH! I'm in that thing called Love! And it's great!!!
