Party Season

Me and one of my single friends (of which i have one or two) were discussing the severe lack of single men action experienced by the both of us this summer. It seems the hot weather - or should i say warm weather - seems to cause a bit of a man drought. They're all busy off on their lads holidays, or playing footy in the park, or round at a mates for a BBQ. They're all quite happy being single.

We have come up with a theory. We are now approaching official party season. And yes, it's meant to be all about meeting guys at summer weddings and BBQs but really, does that ever happen? The real party season is leading up to Christmas. There are loads of birthdays in Autumn (mine included) as that's when our parents were all getting jiggy at Christmas (bleugh)and as the nights drawn in and the temperature drops, guys are more willing to slow down and look around to find us single gals right under their noses. Suddenly cuddling up on the sofa on a winters night watching a dvd doesn't seem like such a horrible situation to be in, and let's face it, Christmas without a special someone by your side can be pretty depressing (take it from one who knows). Long weekends snuggled up by the fire, romantic strolls around a wintery park, festive parties with no one to kiss under the mistletoe - all much better with that special someone.

So roll on cold weather! I'll be waiting for plenty of lonely men to realise having a girlfriend is not that bad!

Nerves

So...everyone seems to want to know when i will be making my TV debut. It's making me very nervous. This is mainly because i have no idea how well (or otherwise) i will come across. I have to watch the show along with everybody else, i don't get a preview so i can vet who should be watching it and who shouldn't be!

Why should i be worried? Well, there are one or two silly things that i said that i just know will be picked up on...they do like to edit these things in the worst way possible to make "entertaining" TV. I just hope no one gets offended...

Ahhh!

Coupled with these nerves is the dread that i'm going to look like a heifer on telly, with a weird squeaky voice that sounds nothing like me. It's gonna be cringe-a-go-go...

I think i might skip the country. I really don't want to come into work the next day!

Eeeeek

Back to reality

Hello world! I'm back!And my what an interesting few weeks i've had!

Where to start???

well, The Big Chill was absolutely fantastic! Haven't felt so happy in a long time. Awesome atmosphere, glorious weather, lots of cider and fantastic live music. Everything i could want from my first festival. The loos weren't bad either! I enjoyed being dirty (by that i mean unshowered) for 4 days and dining on different world cuisine - something The Big Chill does very well. I jumped around like a loon to basement jaxx, raved it up to Orbital, lounged in the sun to Max Romeo, sang along to Friendly fires and fell in love with Lamb...well in actual fact Andy from Lamb. I even managed to get a hug! But was totally uncool and i'm pretty sure he thought i was on something. I can safely say that all i was on was festival joy! Still, wished i'd thought about what i was gonna say before i opened my mouth!

I haven't felt so relaxed in such a long time, it made me so happy. Oooh and i bought a bubble sword, got interviewed by ITN and got my photo taken for Amnesty's website. At this rate i will be famous!

And on that note, i was only back home for two nights before being whisked off to Wimbledon to start my reality TV career. No joke. And i hate most reality tv! Ironic... I spent 5 days in the "dating in the dark" house. Can't say too much, you'll just have to watch Living TV in September /October to find out what happens to me.

Now i'm looking for my next adventure...off to Northampton this weekend but not sure that's quite enough (sorry Laura, i love you, what i mean is i need something BIG!).

What can top reality TV? Hmm, well i'll have to think of something. Look out world, i'll be in Heat Magazine next!

x

Lacking in "love" life

Where oh where to start...?!

Well i guess the "love" life is always a good place. Probably the most complicated yet exciting part of my life! Yet distinctly lacking in "love". But perhaps that's a good thing for now. I can concentrate on having fun instead...and ooh yes i've been trying to do that!

I was dating a guy a few weeks back who seemed pretty interested in me. I, of course, was quite surprised by this and instantly began to worry about it. "It" being the future. It's a girl thing i think, we find it very difficult just to live for the now and not worry about what might or might not happen later. But really, it turns out i had good reason to worry, as this lovely, sexy, funny guy is too old for me and has baggage in the form of two kids. One of which is closer to my age than I am to his Dad! Ouch. (Perhaps i should ask HIM out...joking!) So there i was worrying about it all, even though we've only been on a few dates and there's totally no pressure from him, wondering what i was going to say to him on our next date if he asked to come back to mine (which was more than likely as on the previous date he asked and i pretended to be coy and said he had to wait...first time for everything!)

So guess what happened...he stood ME up!! The cheek! All that worrying for nothing! I'd be lying if i said i wasn't just a teensy bit disappointed though. He seemed so keen. Anyway, by stood up i mean we were meant to be going out on the Tuesday, he called me on the Friday before to make sure we were still on. I asked him what we were doing and the best place for us to meet, and he said he'd let me know before hand. He didn't. I didn't chase as i didn't want to give him the wrong idea, what with all my worrying. But when it got to 8pm on Tuesday night (and after a couple of glasses of wine in the local with housemate to cheer me up) i texted him. And got a big fat nothing response. Bastard.

I didn't hear from him a whole week and a half later, when (get this) he made a comment on Facebook about something i'd written. No apology. So i asked " what happened to Tuesday?". I got a response in the end, and felt a bit bad. But even so, it doesn't take 10 seconds to write a text saying " can't meet you tonight, something's come up, will explain". The fact is, he still hasn't apologised and the only way he seems able to contact me is through facebook. I thought older men were supposed to be mature (although i've been out with enough to know that's a myth)?

So anyway...that's all over. Which is a good thing as it never would have worked. In the mean time i've rekindled a crush (although it is weakening again)but have no way of using it to my advantage as he doesn't live in London and doesn't seem that interested. Damn it. He's so not my type in every way as well, that he might just be a winner! Hmmm.

Oh and i pulled on Saturday night...but that was a one time only kinda thang...i don't expect to hear from him again! Ooooh the shame. Less said about that, the better me thinks!

So what's on the horizon now, i hear you ask? Ha! Well let's just say i've got a jammed packed couple of weeks. I go to The Big Chill on Thursday so who knows, Mr Right might be there. The question is, would i actually prefer Mr Right Now? I'm still mooning over the ex a little bit. I hate to admit it and it's dangerous when i do because i then go out and do silly things to try and convince myself that i'm over it. One day i will be.

Right?...

Honuloopy

Aloha! I had a brilliant weekend. Well in truth it was more of a brilliant Saturday night/Sunday morning with a rather hungover Sunday afternoon. But still. It was fun times. I wore a shell bikini. Over a top of course. Plus a couple of Lai's, a flower in my hair and a grass skirt to match. To be honest much of the night is a bit hazy. Although i'm pretty sure i played spin the bottle. At least my partner in crime wasn't as hammered as me and she has a clearer memory. But perhaps that's not a good thing!

The boys always go all out and it is obligatory to dress up. In fact you'd feel a bit of a numpty if you didn't because everyone makes a bit of an effort! Me and the girls did some BBQ-ing. Showed the boys how it's done of course.

What i do recall is there were half naked men with bikins on, wearing lippy at one point, covered in glitter. And that by the end of night i was covered in glitter so clearly i had been rubbing up against at least one of them. Well done me.

If only i could actually remember...

Life jackets

I spent a lovely weekend in Norfolk, visiting my Nana with my cousin. It's been years since i've been to visit. It was nice to reminisce and hark back to a time when we were both much younger.

I'm slightly envious of my cousin who has stronger memories of the Boat Club and summers spent on the water. Although i still have some. One of my earliest memories is when i was up in the loft/box room and Papa was putting me in a yellow life jacket to see if it would fit. I can only have been about 3 years old and my only experience of life jackets up until that moment were on aeroplanes (i travelled young). I must have made the connection that you only put life jackets on when you are going to die on a plane so i remember yelling and crying telling Papa that "i don't want to die!!!I don't want to wear it!". I think it took some time to reason with me as i could be a stubborn little brat (and still am!).

My Papa was a great Grandad. My Mum has often said how different he was with his Grand kids compared to a being a Dad. From what she says, he was fierce and had a real temper. I don't remember that. What i remember is him messing around with us at the dinner table when all the other adults had left the room, stealing food off peoples plates and putting his elbows on the table (this was a bit of a family joke-good manners in our family came from sitting properly at the table, no elbows and waiting until everyone was seated before you started eating. Papa started a game where if he spotted anyones elbows resting on the table he'd rap his knuckles on the surface and catch them out. Originally it was just meant for us kids, but it soon became a running game every meal time to try and catch one of the adults out.)

Papa really did dote on us kids and we loved it. I think for my cousins who didn't have a Dad on the scene, he was a real father figure. He would discipline us, but it would always be quite light hearted. I never remember him raising his voice.

When my sister and i were were little, we loved it when Nana and Papa came to stay. We'd sneak into there room early in the morning with books for them to read to us. We'd always make Papa sing The Owl and the Pussycat and get him to tell us the story about the fairies at the bottom of the garden. Even though we knew both by heart, we'd always get him to do it, without fail. Even when it was six o'clock in the morning!

As he got older, Papa began to lose his hearing. He would wear a hearing aid but would turn it off occasionally. He'd play on it though and it used to wind Nana up so much. She'd come into the room and ask if he wanted, tea, coffee or a beer. He'd be reading the paper and say "yes". Nana would sigh and leave the room and he'd just smile at us kids and we'd all start giggling.

My Grandparents were adventurers and i've always admired them for that. They had their yacht and would sail around the world for 6 months of the year. Even when Papa got cancer and they had to sell the boat (which saddened everyone of us)when he felt a little bit stronger he went out and bought a camper van so they could travel around the UK!

One of my last memories of Papa were of when my grandparent had a party to celebrate their 50th Wedding anniversary. Never have i seen two people so in love as my grandparents still after 50 years. We were having a massive buffet for the family (of which there are a lot of us) and lots of their friends. Prawns were on the menu but they hadn't defrosted quite enough. I remember watching Papa sat in the conservatory with a tray of prawns, him wielding a hairdryer, trying desperately to thaw them out!

When he died in 2003 it really rocked us as a family. But we all have very fond memories. The one positive thing to come from the sadness of losing him, is that my cousin and i became friends. Growing up we didn't have anything to do with each other, he's seven years older than me and i was always his annoying younger cousin, he my tall cousin who barely spoke to me! The night before Papa's funeral, we stayed up late and drowned our sorrows and in our sadness realised we were more alike than we had ever known. Since then he has become more like a brother to me. In fact i feel closer to him than i do my own sister. I'm hoping that one day i can have this type of friendship with her. Perhaps we just need to get drunk together!

Not sure why i felt the need to write this all down. I guess my weekend has provoked some strong memories. Families are complicated things. I hope that one day we can all get together like the old days (although there are even more of us now, we'd need some kind of hall!)who knows, it could happen.

Blue sky poking through

Has been a relatively quiet week, haven't had to come in early and have managed to leave on time every night. I think i might just be getting the hang of the new job now. Which means i'll more than likely get bored pretty soon. But i don't care, it's all about the money for the next couple of months.

I've been loving the sunshine this week, can't understand why people moan so much. I know public transport is like travelling in a sticky, sweaty sock but seriously, come on. It's sunny! It's not extreme, it's nice. It's made me think that summer in this country wouldn't be bad at all (which is good as i'm not going away anywhere this year). I can't wait to spend more weekends sunbathing in my garden, or having a bit of "parklife". And you know, when Londoners are not travelling on the tube or bus, they are actually much happier when the sun is shining. Cafe culture comes alive too which is something i adore. Being able to go out for the evening without a cardigan is always a good thing too - save money on the cloakroom!

I've also been having my five a day, mainly in glasses of Pimms. But the hot weather does make salad appealing. I had salad for dinner two nights in a row! However i do eat more ice cream...

It saddens me that it is cloudy today, but i can just about see blue sky poking through. That's a bit of an analogy for myself right now...