Murder on the dancefloor

Hello, me again!

So where did i get too? Oh yes, burning my boobs in the park.

Well since then i had a boring but well needed temp job for just over a week. I was entering credit card APRs into a database for a financial services comparison site. Thrilling! But as i said, much needed.

On friday i was lucky enough to go to a club opening in Soho. A friend of a friend is a promoter and got us in for free. Always a plus considering normally it would cost twenty squids. This joint was called 24 and it was full of beautiful people. Suffice to say i felt invisible and fat. But hey, that's never stopped me from enjoying myself! The club was a technological wonder. Well perhaps that's going a bit far...but it was pretty cool with it's 90s laser show, tables that reacted when you touched them and live video of the inside of the club being projected onto the walls. Seriously. It WAS cool.

When we found our table (you're a no-one if you haven't booked a table at these gigs, i've learnt) the 2 litre of Vodka with oversized sparkler arrived and we all breathed a sigh of relief as we didn't have to buy anymore £10.95 gin and tonics for a while. Or in my case, at all.

The music was funky and we did a bit of table dancing. After the canapes went round the lights dimmed and the music was pumped up to a rousing crescendo and my dancing shoes couldn't stay still any longer. Myself and my friends found our way onto the dance floor and stayed there until the small hours. When we walked in we instantly saw two hot, hot, hot guys, one in a waistcoat, the other in a skinny tie. After checking them out for half an hour it was clear we weren't there type. The well dressed are generally gay, i should know that by now!

Anyway, two more guys caught my friends eye but i was resigned to the fact that i wasn't gonna get anywhere with anyone as my cold was getting worse and there was just way too much competition. To be honest i just couldn't be bothered. My friend did her best though, keeping in their eye line, wiggling her thang in their direction. However considering the last guys we liked, liked each other we were almost convinced that these guys were gay aswell. Especially as they seemed quite touchy feely with each other. Unfortunately though, before we got the chance to ask (i'm not really sure we would have, but let's just say we would have) fitty number one started dancing with a tall, tiny blonde girl who looked about 19 and was wearing practically nothing (i know, i sound like someones mum). To be fair if i had the confidence (and didn't have to get the bus both there and back) and of course her figure i would wear tiny, weeny dresses with a bow just about covering my arse. Ten seconds later and they were sucking face on the dance floor. Good for them. Not good for my mate who was most put out.

In the end we decided to deal with the rejection the only way we know how. By dancing like loons. Something i'm well practiced in.

When it got to the stage where walking to the toilets was difficult we decided our tootsies needed a rest. And then we decided it was time to get our big red chariots home. I'm sure blondy and fitty had a chauffeur driven car. As we left my other friend said she'd seen Jonny Torettes getting into a fight when she was out having a cigarette and some ex Big Brother contestants dancing on the other side of the room. Classy establishment then! But really i didn't care who was there as i was having a great time shaking my bits and bobs in front of the DJ booth.

Hopefully there will be more nights like this if i can just find myself a job to keep a roof over my head. Otherwise it's gonna be "s'long London, hello Hampshire" and i will be Little Miss Sad :-(

Till next time

x