Bring on 2010

Time really is a great healer. And with it comes many a splendid thing.Hmm how many more cliches can i fit into this?

At this time of year we all tend to look back at the past twelve months. It can be very carthartic or equally depressing to look back and see what you have and haven't achieved. The end of one year and the start of another makes many reflect on where they thought they might be by now, and what you had hoped to have achieved. But it also makes you look at where you want to be and how much the little things have changed.

If i look back exactly a year ago, i could be a different person. A lot has happened for me in 2009, and not all of it happy. But i don't think i'd have it any other way. I now feel at my most confident. It's strange really as i started the year at probably my lowest point. Then a few months later i was made redundant from my dream job. I've always said you need the pain to appreciate the pleasure, and i still stand by that, no matter how horrible the pain is.

At the end of 2009 a whole heap of things changed for me, none more so than my love life. I'll get to that in a minute. Excitingly i've been offered (and have accepted) a new job in the City. I'll be back doing PR but this time not for an agency but in-house. I will be the client for once! It's going to be a massive learning curve for me and i'd be lying if i didn't say i'm a bit apprehensive. The money's not great, but the experience will look fabulous on my CV. Sometimes you have to take a risk and hope it pays off. I feel i've been doing that for most of my adult life so why change now?!

The very same week i was offered the job, my love live did a somersault and i've somehow gained a boyfriend! It's literally been a matter of weeks. However he has been courting me over email for about 5 months. Although i was too blind to see it.

What makes it doubly exciting is that he's a work colleague, although he's been working in South Africa for the past 6 months trying to get his new visa sorted. That's how it started. I had only been working where i am currently for a week or so when he left so i had only had about two conversations with him. Next thing i know i get an email maybe once a week, then we're friends on Facebook where he comments on most of the things i write, then the emails increase to one a day. as the months drew on we played noughts and crosses over email and spent the whole day chatting. And there i was thinking he was just bored! I knew i had started to feel something but decided to leave it. It wasn't clear when he was coming back to London and i knew of his reputation as a ladies man so i figured i'd take it all with a pinch of salt.

It took us exactly four days of him being back in the country before we kissed. We then spent four consecutive days in my bed. I went back to my parents for Christmas and he was in constant contact with me. I had countless emails, text messages, facebook chats. It really seems like he simply cannot get enough!

I'd be lying if i said i wasn't COMPLETELY freaked out by this behaviour. I've never come across this. A guy who likes me, is not playing games, won't sleep with me on the first night we spend together because we haven't been on a proper first date, looks after me when i was feeling poorly, emails me every half hour at work, wants to spend every lunchtime, tea break, fag break with me. Intense? Err, yeah! But you know what, i'm going to do my best not to ruin this by being a typical British, cynical woman. It's not my fault that most guys i've been with are shits and don't know how to treat a girl. Just in the last few days i've let myself go with it. And it's fun. And lovely. And hot!

It turns out his reputation is just that, a reputation. He's pretty much the office sex pest, but actually all he is is a massive flirt. He doesn't follow through. Well apart from with me! He's desperate to tell everyone at work, and some people do already know, but we don't want it to look like i'm leaving because of him!

I know people are probably reading this thinking "don't be an idiot, he's just going to screw you over, it's all talk" but actually i've got to know him over the past few weeks and i feel like maybe i can start to trust him. I've been known to always think the worst. But maybe it's time to change that.

Plus i've never been with a man who's so "giving" in all my life ;-) (sorry that's possibly too much info...hehe)

By traditional means

Wow, being employed is a bit of a shock. Of course i wouldn't change it for the world but i've just been so busy i've barely noticed that 3 weeks have gone by. It's all good in the hood though, i feel i'm on top of things, plus i got a round of applause at the company meeting the other week and i had a mini appraisal today, where my interpersonal skills were praised as well as my intelligence. News to me that i had either! So things are good, i get the odd day, like today where i get a bit of down time, which is nice every once in a while. Last week i thought my head was going to explode i was so busy, so this is a welcome break.

In other news, i've managed to secure myself two dates with a guy i met in the traditional way. i.e not on the Internet. I'd almost forgotten what it's like actually. The last time i met someone when i was out, minding my own business, was about...4 years ago! Blimey.

But yes, let's focus on the fact that i met him when i was out, i then met him again for drinks and i'm now seeing him for lunch tomorrow. Technically it's a second date. And, even more surprisingly, i actually like the guy! So i'm really looking forward to seeing him again.

I had to let down Mr Farringdon Big Forehead though. He asked me out again and i declined. At first i thought that maybe i shouldn't burn my bridges, but then a good friend of mine asked me if i'd be looking forward to seeing him again, and honestly, i knew i wouldn't be. So i politely declined.

This weekend my cousin and i are off to Norfolk to see my Nana. I've been such a bad grand-daughter these past few years that it's about time i spent some time with her. Hopefully the weather will be nice and we can go to the beach or down by the water, just like we did when we were kids.

Glorious news

Readers! You will be glad to know that my recent moaning and woe-is-me attitude is finally behind me as i have managed to find myself a 7 month contract! I'm no longer faced with homelessness. I will be able to eat normally. I will be able to go to the pub and have more than a glass of soda water, if i want to. I will be able to pay my bills, get back to paying off my overdraft and maybe even start to pay my long suffering parents some of the money i owe them. Things are looking up.

Now that i know i'm staying in London Town for at least another six months, i've turned my attention back to dating. Yes, that's right, i've signed up to yet another dating site. I've actually paid for this one too! However, men still perplex me and i take every date with a pinch of salt. As i was trying to explain to a dear friend of mine just today, i've had a few dates in the past couple of months which have gone well. I define "well" in that we spent a couple of hours together, didn't run out of things to talk about and by the end of the date there was definite flirting and in most cases the guy leaned in for a smooch. None of these guys i've really thought "yes, you're the one" or even "i'd definitely like to see you again", but we've had a good time and they've come across like they like me. So, remembering that i'm not that interested, why is it, as keen as they seem to be, i don't hear from them again? are they waiting for me to get in touch? Or, and this is what i think, was it all a ruse? Do guys give it the come on but actually, couldn't give a shit if they ever see you again? Now, remember i'm actually not bothered. I haven't felt the need to get in touch with any of them. But without being big headed, i thought they were at least a little bit interested!

Are these guys just doing the same thing i'm doing...? Should i start being a bit more...brutal?

well, i think i may put this to the test with my next date in Farringdon tomorrow. There's been a few flirty emails and text messages so at the moment, all is looking good. I'll let you know how it goes, never fear. But don't hold your breath for some sort of romance or even a second date!

The odds aren't good.