Shallow dating and big chills

Woo hoo! Have got tickets for the Big Chill sorted! Very excited, my first festival that i've actually had the money in the bank to be able to pay for! Plus have lovely people to go with! Tres exciting!

Much happier now I have something to look forward too. Think that's always the way. Was speaking to a mate on Sunday and he's talking about getting a big group together on August Bank holiday to go surfing down in my ancestral home of Cornwall. Now that would be cool, as haven't spent enough time with the boys over the past couple of years. Now we've all been brought back together by the "Wedding of The Year" this has given us the perfect opportunity to party more!

This weekend I also spread the online dating bug to my recently single friend who's organising the surf holiday. Didn't put him on the same site i'm on though, that would be a bit wierd (and between you and me i'm not sure he meets the criteria ;-)!

So we set him up on Mysinglefriend.com which i'd heard a lot about. I was obviously the single friend who had to describe him, which felt a little awkward with him looking over my shoulder! Plus the fact we dated for a few months when I was 17. But that's all water under the bridge now... however the boys do love to remind us of the past...at the wrong moments!

The idea is a really good one though and I kinda wish I was on there now. However i've my hands full with the other three sites i'm on (i'm not paying for all three, i'm just putting on free profiles to see which is best...)! And let me tell you, it's an interesting snapshot of what kind of single guys are out there. And not all of it's pretty. In fact, i've been sifting through a lot of mingers! Now I know that's not a nice thing to say, but this online dating thing makes you really shallow! It's awful that i'm judging people by their photos. I know it is. But I can't stop doing it!

Bad Ellie. Bad, bad, bad. Anyway, i've found at least one or two hotties which is just enough to keep me on these sites, in the hope that they might find me attractive....and if i'm judging then i'm sure the guys out there are doing it right back.

Gosh, dating's cruel!

editing

I promise I'll go through all my posts and edit them soon! their r plentie of smeling misteaks and grummatical errors, i'm sure.

My fault for writing blogs in me lunch hour.

I feel ppfffffttttt...

Bad hour maybe. Bad day perhaps. But no, not really either of these. I just don't know. And that is the problem. Perhaps something new is needed...but i'm not sure what.

Grrrrrr i frustrate myself so much. I know what it is. But i can't bring myself to say it. And the few people reading this don't need to hear it. Cos they've already heard it.

Time to shut up and get a grip.

Lucky lady

So, today i've realised that i've been living with two of my lovely housemates for almost a year. When I think back to how I was a year ago I can't believe how much more contented I actually am now. Life had thrown me a few curve balls at the beginning of last year, which meant I was out of a job and couldn't afford my rent. I ended crashing on my crazy portuguese friends sofa(she's crazy in a good way and was a life saver at the time)and was doing some god awful temp work which barely gave me enough money to buy the bus fare to get to the handful of interviews I was getting. Luckily that all changed when i joined the company i'm with now.

When I moved (into what we now lovingly call the Rat Haus) last year, it was a relief to be in a job that had a future and in a house where i might have something in common with the people living there. However I didn't see much of the third housemate and i've been told that's a good thing. She soon moved out a couple of months later and us survivors were left with the task of finding someone new to take her room.

Easier said than done. Turns out there are a lot of weirdos out there. Luckily we did manage to find one young lady who is just the right amount of weird and just the right amount of sane. And for that i'm very glad.

Now the atmosphere is great and I can't wait to get home. I feel very comfortable and the four of us have grown a lot closer. Especially after enduring a nasty landlord, damp and rats. Before Christmas we all moved house, en masse, to a lovely house up the road. Sans rodents. We have a landlady who actually fixes things when they're broken, doesn't shout abuse down the phone and generally is pleasant to deal with. WE have a house that isn't falling apart. It's also a lot less studenty.

Basically i lucked out. Thank you ladies for being so good to me!

(there you go Jay, you haven't just had a cameo, you've been a feature! ;-)

Yo-Yo

I've decided my emotional state is very much on a par with a Yo-Yo. And i've never been able to work those out so this doesn't bode well.

My day didn't start well, I fell flat on my face on the walk from the station to the office. I feel I may sue Tower Hamlets council for their lively pavements...

Seriously though, because of all the building work happening around the new Heron Tower the pavements are all churned up. I love the fact that I fell flat on my face, smashing my knee on the ground and no one offered me a hand. Granted I did jump up pretty quickly but then realising my knee had taken such a bashing I had to lean against a wall. However i'd probably have been more embarrassed if someone had stopped for me. Ground, open wide and swallow me up.

On a brighter note I noticed my Ex commented on a photo of me on Facebook. He still thinks i'm beautiful it seems. That anyone would call me beautiful still amazes me. It's kinda bitter sweet coming from him though. This is the reason I deleted him from The Book of Face. Unfortunately we share friends so sometimes there's just no getting away from him. I've done pretty well though I think, although when he sends me random emails I do find it hard not to respond. Like the other week, he said something that really pissed me off. Perhaps that was his reason for sending it, he knew he'd get a reaction. Anyway, no one wants to hear about my stagnant love life. I will be going speed dating next weekend though!

Bring. It. On!

Not as happy, but blonde!

As always, spoke to soon! Not that I'm unhappy just a bit confused and slightly disappointed. I think I've been rejected but have no idea why! Rejection isn't easy when you've been dumped fairly recently. Oh well, enough of that. The dating game's not always straight forward. There's plenty more fish blah blah blah.

On a happier note, I experienced life as a blonde this weekend. And yes, blondes do have more fun (at least they do at house parties after a bottle of vodka...).

I went to a mates "bling vs. Chav" house party on Saturday night and had loads of fun picking out a costume. It's unfortunate I returned home at 7am on Sunday without most of it.

My costume consisted of some great fake silver heart shaped earrings with "love" written in the middle of them, a blonde wig with sunglasses nestled in it, hot pants, various silver/diamante necklaces, silly silver shoes, pink nails and wild make up. What a stunner! I'm not quite sure what I was thinking, wearing hot pants, but after a bottle of wine it seemed like a great idea!

There was dancing, drinking games, posing and someone being sick in the garden. Wouldn't be a good party without that!

So, the question is now...should I go blonde for real?!

Answers on a postcard please! (or comment on the bottom of this, which ever's easiest!)

Sunshine and rainy days

I have to say that I feel a little bit happier now than I have of late. I don't know if it's just because the sun has started to shine and Spring is in the air, or if the clouds have started to lift over my recent doom and gloom of the heart. Perhaps it's both. I feel a little more in control which helps. My emotions are in check for the moment. This could change with the wind of course, but right now, this minute, i'm fine.

Yesterday I was told I treated the whole dating thing quite light heartedly. She then back-tracked and said she didn't mean it to sound like she thought I didn't care, just that I was quite calm about the whole process. She's also started dating again and she's not exactly embracing the experience! I was glad to hear that's what she thought of me, and my approach to the whole dating scenario. Even if deep down it's not really the case! To be perceived that way is what i want. And people do say the more you act a certain way the more like that way you become. If that makes sense...?

The past couple of months (i think it's three now)have been a challenge. And a mind fuck. But with the help of my friends, who did physically have to scrape me off the floor at one point, I've managed to get my life back and have started to kick the habit, the Ex. I know I've got a long way to go, but I'm doing OK. I've been on a few dates and have realised that I'm an interesting, easy to talk to kinda gal. Sorry if that sounds like I'm blowing my own trumpet (and for those reading this who know me, you'll probably be cheering and clapping your hands at me praising myself!)but I've been made to feel like I'm neither of those things at some point.

So, onwards and upwards. I'm moving on, getting on and attempting to get back in the saddle, as terrifying as that is. It's probably a little bit soon, but I'm not starting any big, scary relationships right now. Just meeting new people and trying to remember what fun feels like. Bring on the singles nights, speed dating and blind dates! Woohoo!