Happy days, fat bums

Well, here we go, been a while but i'm back. For a bit. I've been sooo super busy that 2010 is passing by quicker than i imagined. But luckily in a fabulously happy way :-)

The new job is going well so far, i have lots to learn but also a platform from which to jump in any direction i choose. If i can stick at this without getting bored (or made redundant) i think good things will follow. It muust be sickening to hear my optimism but it's taken such a long time to get back to feeling this way i'm embracing it with both hands, feet and butterfly nets...and no, it's not all because i have a lovely man in my life, although that does help!

I was remarkably up beat and happy for the last half of 2009 and i now know why. It was all to do with taking back control. Control of my life. Don't get me wrong i'm not a control freak, i'm a laid back kinda gal and can go with the flow. But i spent too long living my life for someone else. 2009 was my year for regaining my confidence, for having fun and living like the single, 24 year old girl i was. It's been empowering! But tough too. There were quite a few times where i had to dig myself out of whatever blue mood i was in, whatever knockback i came up against. But the beauty of it all was that i realised i am the only one responsible for my life. It doesn't matter who's by your side.

"We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future." ~ George Bernard Shaw

Ooh this new job is making me so positive about life! That's the trouble when you work for a motivational life coach, among other things.

And i believe it's true, the more positive you are about something good happening the more likely good things will start happening.

For those interested in the love life, it's all going swimmingly. Better than i could have imagined in fact. I was whisked off for a romantic weekend in Dublin, i've been taken out for numerous romantic meals, i've partied hard, i've met the best mates, i've been bought gifts for no reason and i've spent time with someone who seems to get me, who makes me laugh and who i don't get bored of hearing from. even after we've spent the weekend together, before i get home i've had a text message. There's no game playing, which is just a little more than refreshing. Of course it's not all as perfect as it seems...I'm trying hard to think of the imperfect things...oh, here we go, he makes me late for work and has a tendancy to snore. So much so that i've had to buy ear plugs when he had a cold. And he was a fan of celebrity Big Brother. Oh and we go out and eat such unhealthy food that i'm getting a fat bum and even fatter belly. But he seems to like it!

I think i can live with that.

:-)

Sunshine and rainy days

I have to say that I feel a little bit happier now than I have of late. I don't know if it's just because the sun has started to shine and Spring is in the air, or if the clouds have started to lift over my recent doom and gloom of the heart. Perhaps it's both. I feel a little more in control which helps. My emotions are in check for the moment. This could change with the wind of course, but right now, this minute, i'm fine.

Yesterday I was told I treated the whole dating thing quite light heartedly. She then back-tracked and said she didn't mean it to sound like she thought I didn't care, just that I was quite calm about the whole process. She's also started dating again and she's not exactly embracing the experience! I was glad to hear that's what she thought of me, and my approach to the whole dating scenario. Even if deep down it's not really the case! To be perceived that way is what i want. And people do say the more you act a certain way the more like that way you become. If that makes sense...?

The past couple of months (i think it's three now)have been a challenge. And a mind fuck. But with the help of my friends, who did physically have to scrape me off the floor at one point, I've managed to get my life back and have started to kick the habit, the Ex. I know I've got a long way to go, but I'm doing OK. I've been on a few dates and have realised that I'm an interesting, easy to talk to kinda gal. Sorry if that sounds like I'm blowing my own trumpet (and for those reading this who know me, you'll probably be cheering and clapping your hands at me praising myself!)but I've been made to feel like I'm neither of those things at some point.

So, onwards and upwards. I'm moving on, getting on and attempting to get back in the saddle, as terrifying as that is. It's probably a little bit soon, but I'm not starting any big, scary relationships right now. Just meeting new people and trying to remember what fun feels like. Bring on the singles nights, speed dating and blind dates! Woohoo!